Uncertainties

It's amazing how quickly you can just fall into an abyss of existential crisis when you have nothing to do. Nothing lined up in your agenda. No one around to make plans with. No calls for a shift at your workplace.

How does one deal with all this uncertainty in one's life? Do I just go with the flow and wait for an opportunity to fall into my lap? The obvious answer came up as I was typing that sentence. No. Duh. Who am I if I don't take the initiative to reach out and work for what I want?

Maybe all this uncertainty is exactly what I need in life. I've never really had to step out and seek for that which I need. I've always been a happy-go-lucky sorta person, and honestly speaking I think I've gotten quite lucky for the most part of my life so far. Part-time jobs in the university just fell into my lap. Doing well in school (moderately well, I'm no prodigy) hasn't really been that hard either. I've always thought that if I do well in school and have at least some work experience, I'm good to go. Oh how wrong I was.

I never thought that finding a job would actually be this difficult. Sometimes I wonder if it's something that I've been doing wrong. Is it my resume? My capabilities? My lack of confidence? Then I speak to those around me and realize that I am not the only one who is going through this. We see those who succeed and we think that we're falling behind. What we don't see are those who are struggling to find some sort of stability in life; many are trying their best, yet still fail countless of times only to get back up and try again. I'm confident that the latter outnumbers the former. That is one thing that I'm certain of, despite all my other uncertainties.

Perhaps I find comfort in that.